Crossing The Line Essay Research Paper
Traversing The Line Essay, Research Paper
# # John Pike PIKE1
Mr. Garbowitz
SC-235
11-27-00
Traversing the Line
? Work force? s friendly relationships with work forces are characterized by making things & # 8230 ; for adult females? s friendly relationships, talk for the interest of talk is more cardinal than activates? ( Fritz 2 ) . We have ever heard that work forces? s friendly relationships are based on activities and that adult females? s friendly relationships are based on speaking, but what happens when these two stereotypes intertwine in a cross-gendered friendly relationship. What happens when a adult male and a adult female are merely friends and non lovers? What do they make? Make they make activities that work forces would prefer or make they sit down and dish the dirt like the adult females would love to make. We will throw out all the stereotypes about the inter-gender relationships and centralise on the cross-gender relationship. To understand the subject of a cross-gender relationship you have to recognize the biggest job of these relationships, love. ? Many heterosexual love relationships begin as Platonic friendly relationships? ( Stewart 1 ) . Associating to that is Lips stating, ? In fact, the coupling of adult females and work forces into such intimate relationships is taken so
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much for granted that people see it hard to gestate of female-male relationships that do non suit this form? ( 324 ) . The key to a healthy relationship, whether it be cross-gender or non, is communicating. How the friends communicate to each other, how adumbrate the friends will pass on with each other, and what sort of struggles that the different communications manners will bring forth, are of import countries of communicating in cross-gender friendly relationships.
How will the cross-gender friends communicate with each other, since each has a really different communicating manner? ? The communicating manner refers to? the manner one verbally and paraverbally interacts to signal how actual significance should be taken, interpreted, filtered, or understood? ? ( Stewart 3 ) . Womans are normally considered to be more unfastened and much more attentive so work forces. While work forces, tend to be more dominant and dramatic so adult female. So how does the dominant, dramatic adult male interact with the unfastened, attentive adult female? The key to the communications manners may non be to understand the other gender is pass oning but non to misconstrue what they are seeking to pass on. The adult male will seek being really dominant in the conversation ( commanding the conversation ) and dramatising the information ( overemphasising the of import information, while underemphasizing the bad ) . The adult female will be excessively attentive and really relaxed during the conversation leting the adult male to be in control, in all making control of the conversation on her ain. The job does non come from the communicating itself, but from what the people themselves may take from it. A adult male may experience what he is making is helpful while the adult female may see it as commanding and frailty versa. The lone
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manner you can make good communicating in a cross-gender friendly relationship is to understand the difference in each other? s communicating manners.
How confidant will the communicating be between the adult male and adult female? It seems to be that work forces and adult females self-disclose about the same in cross-gender communicating. The dry thing is that work forces self-disclose more with a adult female so with a adult male, while a adult female will self unwrap less with a adult male so with a adult female. ? When sex differences in familiarity are found, females? friendly relationships are invariably rated as more confidant than males? friendly relationships? ( Roy 1 ) . Men seem to self-disclose in a manner that shows off their strengths, while a adult female will self-disclose about their failings ( Stewart ) . So this effort to pass on with a cross-gender spouse one time once more leaves a adult male in a superior, domina
nt place and the adult male in the conversation will rule the adult female. This creates a job in the relationship when one spouse becomes more superior in the relationship than the other individual does. So the cross-gender friends will necessitate to go peers in communicating while leting each other to remain within their ain comfy communicating manner.
The struggle that can be caused by the different communicating manners of a adult male and a adult female may be the most overpowering job with cross-gender relationships. Work force and adult female will take the struggle otherwise. Stewart says, ? Womans tend to fault themselves for rational failures and recognition others for rational successes ( and ) work forces are more likely to disregard the
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job? ( 2 ) . So what will go on if a job arises in a cross-gender relationship? When troubles in a relationship occur, adult females will stop a relationship while work forces merely seem to disregard it all together. This causes jobs because adult females blame themselves for the jobs in the cross-gender friendly relationship and the adult male will non pass on with her about the job all together. This leaves the problem-unresolved, which looms on the adult female? s scruples go forthing her to stop the relationship. So, speaking about any jobs or struggles in the relationship go really of import in maintaining the friendly relationship together.
Understanding the different ways that each gender communicates and larning non to misconstrue what each other is stating is the key to communicating in a cross-gender communicating. This is how cross-gender friends can pass on with each other in a healthy mode. A female college fresher says, ? Guies are normally better friends than misss because they don? t thrive on chitchat. ( Sula 1 ) Besides Traustadottir says, ? some of the work forces in her survey depict how a friendly relationship with a adult females provides them with nurturance and familiarity, that by and large in non available in their friendly relationships with other work forces? ( 2 ) . Recognizing how to remain in your ain comfort degree while maintaining an equality in an intimate conversation is a manner in which a cross-gender friend can be intimate and self-disclose with their spouse. Communicating jobs and struggles in a relationship may be the lone manner to command the struggles in relationships that may do it to stop. These are all grounds that communicating is a really of import construct in all relationships and particularly in cross-gender relationships.
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Plants Cited
Fritz, Janie Harden. ? Work force? s and adult females? s organisational equal relationships: a comparison. ? Journal of Business Communication v34. January 1997. Online Posting. WilsonSelectPlus. Netscape Communicator. 15 November 2000. Available: hypertext transfer protocol: //newfirstsearc.oclc.org/web & # 8230 ; cftqz4n7-xtbazy: entitypagenum=23:0.
Lips, Hillary M. Sex and Gender: An Introduction. Third edition. Graham. Mayfield Publishing Company, 1997.
Roy, Rosanne. ? Beyond familiarity: gestating sex differences in same-sex friendships. ? The Journal of Psychology v. 134 no 1. January 2000. Online Posting. WilsonSelectPlus. Netscape Communicator. 15 November 2000. Available: hypertext transfer protocol: //newfirstsearc.oclc.org/web & # 8230 ; cftqz4n7-xtbazy: entitypagenum=20:0.
Stewart, Lea. ? Communication in Cross-Gender Friendships. ? In Communication and Gender 3rd erectile dysfunction. Ed. Allyn & A ; Bacon. 1996.
Sula, Chris. ? Guy/Girl Friendships Defy Stereotypes. ? The Victory View. Online Posting. HighWired. Netscape Communicator. 20 November 2000. Available: hypertext transfer protocol: //highwired-inc.com/Paper/Article/0.1296.1-180670.00.html.
Traustadottir, Rannvieg. ? Gender Patterns in Friendships? . Online Posting. WebSearch. Netscape Communicator. 20 November 2000. Available: hypertext transfer protocol: //web.syr.edy/~thechp/genpat.htm.
